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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
camphalftribute
jamespottxr

We all talk about the mother-son relationship between Molly and Harry but barely of McGonagall and Harry

  • McGonagall spent hours spying on the Dursley’s and didn’t want Harry to be put in their care
  • she bought him a Nimbus 2000 with her own money and since it was new at the time, it must’ve cost a lot
  • she put Harry on the quidditch team without checking with Oliver Wood and if it had been another student who was caught flying, they would have been expelled on the spot
  • she defended Harry in front of Umbridge “He has achieved high marks in all Defence Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher”
  • “Potter. I will assist you to become an Auror if it is the last thing I do! If I have to coach you nightly I will make sure you achieve the required results!”
  • when Amycus spat at McGonagall, Harry cast the cruciatus curse on him which worked meaning Harry truly meant it, and when McGonagall called him foolish, Harry replied as if his actions didn’t need explanation 
  • “The scream was the more terrible because he had never expected or dreamed that Professor McGonagall could make such a sound” when McGonagall thought Harry was dead 
  • she was one of the first to reach Harry when he defeated Voldemort
Source: faheys
thankers
carry-on-my-otp

If Stuntmen from the old movies don’t have your full respect then I just don’t know what to say to you

novacayyn

l tried really hard not to reblog this

nescientes

Yeah, it is indeed really hard not to reblog a fucking thing.

spaceman-v-spiff

Can we all agree that the man in the first gif is the manliest man in the world?

jolivet

Are we just going to all silently acknowledge that the last guy is clearly dead and that we just saw him die. 

antoinetriplett

HOLD UP FOR A SECOND

ALL OF THESE GIFS ARE ONE MAN

THE SINGULAR BUSTER KEATON

WHILE FILMING THE GENERAL

HE SNAPPED HIS NECK ON THE RAILROAD TIES AND WENT HOME AND ICED HIS BODY

AND CAME BACK FOR WORK THE NEXT DAY

HE ONCE GOT HIS HIP RIPPED OUT OF ITS SOCKET BY A MALFUNCTIONING ELEVATOR AND WAS DISAPPOINTED WITH HIMSELF FOR BEING INJURED

HE ONCE HAD TO FALL 100 FEET DOWN A WATERFALL INTO A NET

A STUNTMAN TESTED IT AND BROKE BOTH LEGS AND DISLOCATED HIS SHOULDER

BUSTER DID THE STUNT ANYWAY AND LANDED WITHOUT A SCRATCH

IN ‘THE HIGH DIVE’

BUSTER DID A TRICK DIVE THROUGH A CARDBOARD DECK THAT WAS CAMOUFLAGED TO LOOK LIKE THE REAL DECK

ONLY HE COULDN’T TELL FROM 100 FEET UP WHERE THE CARDBOARD STOPPED AND THE REAL DECK STARTED AND THERE WAS ONLY LIKE A THREE FOOT MARGIN FOR ERROR

AND WHEN HE HESITATED A SUDDEN BREEZE LITERALLY KNOCKED HIM OFF THE DIVING BOARD AND HE HAD TO JUMP ANYWAY

AND HE MISSED THE REAL DECK BY LESS THAN A FOOT BUT HE MADE IT

IN THE SECOND GIF HE’S RECREATING SOMETHING THAT THE ACTUAL GENERAL PURSUERS HAD TO DO IN THE CIVIL WAR

IF HE MISSES THAT TIE

THE TRAIN WILL BE DERAILED AND HE WILL DIE IN THE EXPLOSION

IN THE THIRD GIF AN ENTIRE HOUSE IS FALLING HE HAS ONE TAKE AND IF HE HAS NOT DONE THE CALCULATIONS CORRECTLY HE WILL BE CRUSHED

HE HAS AN INCH-WIDE MARGIN ON EACH SIDE

AND THE HOUSE LITERALLY BRUSHES HIS LEFT SHOULDER ON THE WAY DOWN

YOU CAN SEE HIS LEFT ARM JUMP BECAUSE HE’S FLINCHING FROM THE PAIN

THAT LAST GIF

HE WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE THAT JUMP

HE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO FALL AND THEY HADNT PLANNED FOR IT

BUT HE SURVIVED

BUSTER KEATON SURVIVED 100% OF THINGS THAT WOULD HAVE KILLED LESSER MEN INCLUDING WWI, TORNADOS, HOUSEFIRES, ALCOHOLISM, BROKEN NETS, CRUSHING DEPRESSION, THE DEPRESSION ITSELF, THE MCCARTHY WITCHHUNTS, THE END OF SILENT CINEMA, AND ABOUT 900 MORE OF THE STUNTS YOU SEE ABOVE

BUSTER LIVED TO BE 70 YEARS OLD

FATHERED LIKE FOUR KIDS AND EIGHT GRANDKIDS

HE CAME OUT THE OTHER SIDE OF ALL THAT

THINKING THAT LIFE WAS GOOD AND PEOPLE WERE WONDERFUL

BUSTER KEATON IS NOT JUST A STUNTMAN

HE IS A GODDAMN SAINT

thefandomtolllbooth

BUSTER KEATON’S PARENTS WERE PART OF A TRAVELING SHOW.

THEY WERE ACROBATS.

THEY TOOK BABY BUSTER UP HIGH IN THE AIR WITH THEM.

THEY DROPPED HIM.

LUCKILY SOMEONE WHO WAS STANDING UNDER THEM CAUGHT BABY BUSTER.

THAT MAN WAS HARRY HOUDINI. 

HARRY HOUDINI SAVED BUSTER KEATON’S LIFE.

if you don’t think that’s the coolest shit you can get right out.

chxldish

he was blessed by houdini oh my god

Source: vikingfighter
ruinedchildhood
sherlocksmyth

THOU = “YOU” WHEN YOU’RE FUCKING DOING SOMETHING.

THEE = “YOU” WHEN YOU’RE HAVING SOMETHING FUCKING DONE TO YOU.

THY = “YOUR” AND “YOURS” WHEN THE THING YOU OWN BEGINS WITH A FUCKING CONSONANT.

THINE = “YOUR” AND “YOURS” WHEN THE THING YOU OWN BEGINS WITH A FUCKING VOWEL.

IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE SHITTY OLD ENGLISH TEXT POSTS, DO IT RIGHT.

letmeeatyourchildren

Thine octopus

Source: supercolm
fredlessgeorge
chordatesrock

Wait. Wait. The entire fandom has been arguing for years over whether to take the 40 students in Harry’s year and multiply by seven to get Hogwarts’ total student population (280) or trust Rowling’s estimate of the total (1000) and assume there are more students than 40 in Harry’s year, even though we have the list of all of them.

But. You guys. Harry was born during a war against Voldemort, who had no qualms killing infants, and who certainly had no problem killing the young people Harry’s parents’ age.

Harry’s year is unusually small, and maybe Ginny’s is, too. Things picked up again after the war, when there wasn’t that threat of death hanging over everyone’s heads and taking young soldiers away from their spouses or significant others. And it really didn’t start until the Marauders were adults or almost adults, so… it shouldn’t have been an issue shortly beforehand, either.

Harry’s year is 40 students, instead of the expected hundred-odd, because of Voldemort. “The” girls’ dorm, and “the” boys’ dorm, are the only two dorms used by students in Harry’s year, but of course there are closed-off rooms, maybe ones that have disappeared because they don’t exist unless they’re needed. You know those empty, unused classrooms that I seem to recall hearing mention of once or twice? They’re for splitting classes that would be too big. But that’s not needed for Harry’s year. (It might be needed for the year below Ginny’s, though.)

Imagine being a teacher, or one of the older students. You’ve seen sortings before— ones with a hundred kids, or two hundred, and that’s what you’re used to.

Then you sit down, and watch the children file in for a Sorting. And there are forty of them. And you count back in your head and realize— these are the children conceived during the war. And this year is small. And so is the next. And the next.

But then the post-war baby boom starts using all the closed-up dorms and classrooms, and Hogwarts is back to normal.

melpopenn

WHY MUST YOU ALL MAKE ME CRY OVER A SERIES THAT ENDED YEARS AGO!

notyourexrotic

ALSO! Consider the Muggleborns! There was one year where they were explicitly not welcome, but that doesn’t mean it was always safe for them either. During wartime there were probably many families that fled to avoid further persecution, studying at home or elsewhere even if Hogwarts didn’t have any blood policies for students. Having one house openly advertise itself as Pureblood Only probably didn’t help.

highepic
fruitappreciation

omg apparently artificial banana flavoring is based on the gros michel banana which was wiped out by a banana plague in the 50s and the banana we eat today is a totally different thing called the cavendish and thats why banana candy doesnt taste like bananas do you know how lied to i feel. like there was a fucking banana apocalypse and no one told me about it until now

kingloptr

image

fidefortitude

We are eating the shadowy remnants of a dead species.

prokopetz

In the interest of accuracy, while it was a fungal plague that pulled the trigger, the real cause of the Gros Michel’s near-extinction was massive inbreeding.

Y’see, folks were very picky about their bananas - they wanted every banana to taste exactly the same. So the big banana producers all started growing the same cultivar - the Gros Michel - and they deliberately inbred that sucker until every banana they picked was essentially identical to every other.

The upshot is that all commercially cultivated bananas suffered from the same weakened immune system, and when a fungal pathogen that could kill one Gros Michel banana plant evolved, it promptly killed all of them.

And the punchline? The banana producers didn’t learn a blessed thing from all this. Instead of diversifying their banana crops, they switched to a new cultivar, the Cavendish, en masse - and today’s Cavendishes are just as inbred as the Gros Michel was back in the day.

Indeed, a second “banana apocalypse” is brewing as we speak; in 2008, a new strain of the same fungus that wiped out the Gros Michel, one that’s capable of attacking the Cavendish, struck banana crops in Malaysia - and in spite of our best efforts to contain it, it’s spreading. According to some estimates, if banana production isn’t diversified soon, the Cavendish could follow the Gros Michel into commercial extinction in as little as ten years.

Isn’t history fun?

robotgodantagonism

banana apocalypse 2 coming to a banana farm near you.

Source: fruitappreciation
heart
paxamgays

it’s weird how bra commercials are more aimed towards straight male audiences more than the audience that’s actually gonna buy a fuckn bra

refusingtosinkmyship

If it were aimed toward women, it would be like “THIS BRA IS COMFY AS SHIT! YOU WON’T WANNA TAKE IT OFF. LOOK AT THE HIRED MALE ACTORS SWOONING OVER THE HIRED ACTRESS”

SOOOOLD

spaceisprettycool

THIS BRA WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE CHRIS EVANS IS PERSONALLY HOLDING YOUR BREASTS 24/7. LOOK THIS SHIT COMES IN LIKE 78 DIFFERENT COLORS TO MATCH YOUR SKIN TONE OR YOUR CLOTHING OR WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT, YOU GOT OPTIONS! NO LACE WE CAN DO NO LACE THAT SHIT ITCHES. YOU WANT POLKADOTS FUCK YEAH POLKA DOTS! LOOK EACH CUP HAS POCKETS IN IT FUCKING HELL POCKETS IN YOUR BRA CALM THE FUCK DOWN WORLD LET ME TAKE THIS ALL IN. MACHINE WASHABLE FUCK YEAH THROW THIS SHIT IN YOUR WASHER, IT’S NOT GONNA TANGLE, IT’S MADE WITH ASGARDIAN BILGESNIPE TAIL HAIR IT’S INDESTRUCTABLE. THIS BRA’S GONNA BEEP IF IT DETECTS CANCER IN YOUR BOOBS THAT SHIT AIN’T RIGHT SO CHECK YOUR BOOBS PEOPLE. FUCK YEAH THIS BRA IS AMAZING. SCIENCE. 

stileslydiamartinstilinski

You had me at “this bra will make you feel like Chris Evans is personally holding your breasts 24/7”

allteenrelates

My class today

  • Me: So when you see the 4 year old boy pull the little girl's hair...
  • Students: He likes her!
  • Me: Now they are around 11 or 12 and he grabs her arm and wrestles her to the ground even though she calls him a jerk and yells at him to leave her alone.
  • Students: That is just how boys are.
  • Me: Now they are 18 and he grabs her arm and--
  • Students: Oh, that's not okay.
  • Me: Really? How would he know? How would she know? How would you know? You just told me that for the first 17 years of these children's lives that you thought it was cute, sweet, and natural for a boy to grab a girl and be rough with her.
  • Students: Oh.
  • Me: Oh, is right.
Source: maraglen